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How to be Happy and Causes of Unhappiness by Zakir Ayoub with my own experience

How to be happy and causes of unhappiness



How to be Happy

Yes, it’s possible


Happiness looks different for everyone. For you, maybe it’s being at peace with who you are or having a secure network of friends who accept you unconditionally or the freedom to pursue your deepest dreams.


Habits Matter

If you’ve ever tried breaking a bad habit, you know all too well how engrained they are.


Well, good habits are deeply engrained, too. Why not work on making positive habits part of your routine?


Just remember that everyone’s version of happiness is a little different, and so is their path to achieving it.

There are so many good habits which can help you to be happy. Zakir Ayoub will share some habits of mine with you today :


1. Smile

You tend to smile when you’re happy. But it’s actually a two-way street.


We smile because we’re happy, and smiling causes the brain to release dopamine, which makes us happier.


That doesn’t mean you have to go around with a fake smile plastered on your face all the time. But the next time you find yourself feeling low, crack a smile and see what happens or try starting each morning by smiling at yourself in the mirror. It is really powerful try at once. 


2. Exercise

Exercise isn’t just for your body. Regular exercise can help to reduce stress, feelings of anxiety, and symptoms of depression while boosting self-esteem and happiness.Wake up early and do some exercises like pray Nemaaz if you are Muslim, As you Know that Nemaaz is the best exercise for your mind, body and soul. So Do some exercise in Morning. 


3. Get plenty of sleep

No matter how much modern society steers us toward less sleep, we know that adequate sleep is vital Trusted Source to good health, brain function, and emotional well-being.


Most adults need about 7 or 8 hours of sleep every night. If you find yourself fighting the urge to nap during the day or just generally feel like you’re in a fog, your body may be telling you it needs more rest.Generally, in this modern society our youth is getting more affected by Social media platforms. They stay whole night on social media for chatting with one another, that is the main cause for a youth to be unhappy. Although using of social media is good but continuous use leads to negative effects. 


4. Be grateful

Simply being grateful can give your mood a big boost, among other benefits. For example, a recent two-part study found that practicing gratitude can have a significant impact on feelings of hope and happiness.


Start each day by acknowledging one thing you’re grateful for. You can do this while you’re brushing your teeth or just waiting for that snoozed alarm to go off.


As you go about your day, try to keep an eye out for pleasant things in your life. They can be big things, such as knowing that someone loves you or getting a well-deserved promotion.


But they can also be little things, such as a co-worker who offered you a cup of coffee or the neighbour who waved to you. Maybe even just the warmth of the sun on your skin.


With a little practice, you may even become more aware of all the positive things around you.Try saying ALHAM-DU-ILLAAH (Thank God) to everything. 


5. Give a compliment


Research shows that performing acts of kindness can help you feel more satisfied.


Giving a sincere compliment is a quick, easy way to brighten someone’s day while giving your own happiness a boost.


Catch the person’s eye and say it with a smile so they know you mean it. You might be surprised by how good it makes you feel.



If you want to offer someone a compliment on their physical appearance, make sure to do it in a respectful way. 


6. Acknowledge the unhappy moments


A positive attitude is generally a good thing, but bad things happen to everyone. It’s just part of life.


If you get some bad news, make a mistake, or just feel like you’re in a funk, don’t try to pretend you’re happy.


Acknowledge the feeling of unhappiness, letting yourself experience it for a moment. Then, shift your focus toward what made you feel this way and what it might take to recover.


Let the moment pass and take care of yourself. Remember, no one’s happy all the time.


7. See friends


Humans are social beings, and having close friends can make us happier.


Who do you miss? Reach out to them. Make a date to get together or simply have a long phone chat.


In adulthood, it can feel next to impossible to make new friends. But it’s not about how many friends you have. It’s about having meaningful relationships. 


Try getting involved in a local volunteer group or taking a class. Both can help to connect you with like-minded people in your area. And chances are, they’re looking for friends, too.


8. Ditch your phone


Unplug. Really.


Turn off all the electronics and put those ear buds away for at least one hour once a week. They’ll still be there for you later. If you still want them, that is.


If you haven’t unplugged in a while, you might be surprised at the difference it makes. Let your mind wander free for a change,Read, Meditate. Take a walk and pay attention to your surroundings. Be sociable or be alone. Just be.


Sound too daunting? Try doing a shorter amount of time several times a week.


9. Get into nature


According to my experience. Spending 30 minutes or more a week in green spaces can help lower blood pressure and depression. 

Your green space could be anything from your neighborhood park, your own backyard, or a rooftop garden — anywhere you can appreciate some nature and fresh air.


Better yet, add some outdoor

exercise into the mix for extra benefit.... 


10. Don’t compare.

Comparison has been compared to a little death. When we compare ourselves to others, we harm ourselves.


Happy people know that they’re no better or less than another person. Someone will always be at a “more evolved place” and someone will always be “less-evolved.”


Note to self: Be concerned with only how to do your best and that’s all.


11. Make adjustments.


When something isn’t going your way, when your mood dips, or when you feel “off,” stay curious and self-aware. Fine-tune the energy in your body by making adjustments.


If you eat something that makes you feel poor, why eat it? 


When you’re feeling stuck or heavy, take a walk, do something different than your normal routine, meet up with a friend.


If feeling anxious or stressed, tune-up with extra sleep, meditation/yoga/Nemaaz or a hot bath…


12. Choose uplifting friendships.

When we have friendships and conversations that are uplifting, supportive, and loving, with people interested in our betterment, we are on a faster track to our own enlightenment.


If you hang out with someone and don’t feel great afterward, see less of that person and seek out other friendships.


Know which friends increase your happiness and nurture those relationships.


13. Trash your negative thoughts

Some people are overwhelmed by their negative thoughts and they have real problems in getting rid of them. A University of Madrid study found that by actually writing these thoughts down on a piece of paper and then destroying them was effective.They recommended that you either tear them up, throw them in the trash or burn them!


The fact of discarding them physically does help in reducing their toxic effects. Psychologists suggest doing this on a regular basis.


Causes of Unhappiness

Now the question arises that what are the basic causes of unhappiness. Why do we feel sad. The first thing we have ask ourselves what is it that made us happy. If it the relationship you have with Allah, the creator of universe that is something everlasting. If it is something connected to this world (material things) remember it is temporary and the day will come when Allah will test you by reversing it, it has to be.My own experience says that the reason for our unhappiness is because we have failed to understand the true nature of our inner self and which is the source of ultimate happiness.


Not knowing the nature of our soul has made us unhappy because we are searching for happiness in things that are temporary and not a true source of happiness.


Some people feel that achieving material objects will make them happy but they fail to understand the nature of materialistic objects- those objects can never give you true happiness because they can only give you happiness till you require that thing so after you get that thing your happiness changes as your desire changes-if that object was really the source of ultimate happiness then it would give you happiness permanently right? So does that mean material objects can give you happiness only till a certain amount of time and then those same objects cannot give you happiness as they do not serve your interest then?


So does a relationship give you true happiness? Only till your conditions are met from each other and only if your desires are fulfilled from each other that will give you happiness but again that happiness is dependent on conditions and interest but once these factors do not serve your purpose those same people give you sadness.


So can we say that in respect to material objects and people our happiness is short-lived because it changes when our interests and desires change so happiness is totally dependent on external sources and it is not permanent, it keeps on varying with objects?


So where can we find eternal and permanent happiness?


I experienced that true and permanent happiness can only be found in our inner self and they have stated that by experience.


You can never be unhappy if you have mastered the technique of finding happiness within and once you have found that way you will never search for happiness outside because you have found a treasure of infinite happiness and then you realize that you were a fool running for happiness and pleasure outside which was so temporary and it always gave you sadness in the end  because it was an illusion you were staying in that outside objects gave you happiness.


Once you learn the nature of objects that give you happiness and sadness you will never go wrong in your path of finding true happiness.


Then you know how to act accordingly with various objects and then you won’t get upset by outside objects and disturb your peace of mind by external sources after mastering the skill of discovering true happiness within.


There are some Basic causes that i experienced in my life :

1.Bad Habits

      It is the first thing that should be corrected. Bad habits ruined life of People, as we see in our day to day life many people had bad habits that lead to their ruins. General bad habits are developed through bad friend or through lack of moral education. We should develop moral values and that thing will lead to good habits. Don't ruin your life just develop good habits and forget the bad ones. 


2. Bad friends

  While making our friends we should choose carefully who should be my friend. Because when you make a friend who have bad habits, bad morals, worst language that also develops in you gradually. Make good friends and be happy. Bad friends can't understand your feelings at a time when you need someone to understood. 


3. Comparing yourself  

Comparison leads to unhappiness. We should not compare ourselves to anyone rather we should do what he/she is doing or do your own business. Comparison makes some difference that leads to sadness. We claim ourselves to be superior than others. Mind your own business. Don't think why he/she is so wealthy, why he is more happy than me, why he do it and i can't. Stop making comparison. 

4. Enemy.

     Enemies also leads to unhappiness. Our enemies can ruin our life through various means. They make bad talks about you and sometimes will become obstacle in your business. We should end up enmity. We should make good friends that is the cause happiness. We should think about the sayings that our enemies made. 

5. Guilt and shame 

Guilt and shame is also a cause for unhappiness. We feel guilty when we made some mistakes and we feel ashamed when we fail in doing or performing. We should be ashamed or feel guilty about the material things. As i already said that Allah will test you through various means. This Duniya (world) is just a testing ground. Don't feel guilty or ashamed do what you want to do in your life. 

6. Fear of public opinion 

  Sometimes fear of public opinions also makes us unhappy. When we do something or wanted to do, we think of public (neighbors,etc). What public will think or say about me. What they will do when i make this....blaw blaw..... 

     Keep these thoughts aside and do what is right for you and what you want to do. People will say what they want to say, it is their work. Let them do this and you should not stop.


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